and going to court

How many times have you heard or read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8? We have read or heard those verses so many times (usally at weddings) and we hope we do not hear it again at another wedding ceremony. You know the sappy verses: (4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  (5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not rejoince in evil but rejoices with the truth. (7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (8) Love never fails.

For me, whenever I hear or read these verses, I kind of stop listening after “Love is patient, love is kind.” Awww – how sweet.

Today in church, our guest Pastor was Rev. Ron Norris. The text for the sermon was based on Luke 11:4. Luke 11:1-4 is where Jesus teaches us to pray the Lord’s prayer.  In verse 4 we read: Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us…

Enter the part from 1 Corinthians 13:5 (regarding love and not keeping a record of wrongs) that I seemed to have missed for multiple decades and Luke 11:4 and we can see that this forgiveness thing is critical to our relationships.

We learned how easy it is for us to expect perfection of others (and hold back grace until we get it), while we expect grace from others when our actions are anything less than perfect. It seems we forget that part in Luke 4 where we ask our Lord to forgive us just as we forgive others. We were asked to consider what our lives would be like if God only forgave us as much as we actually forgive others. Thankfully, our God forgives us completely no matter how imperfect our ability or willingness to forgive others is. No conditions. God’s forgiveness is 100%. Forever.

During the sermon we were reminded of the immense emotional energy it takes to keep those records of wrongs when we are not able to forgive, when we hold on to the past, and when we hold others responsible for how we feel (i.e. we blame them).

We have been blessed with several outstanding Pastors whose ability to teach and preach have helped develop and support the backbone of our faith. Your pastor is preaching to both himself and to you (and me) and as fellow believers and sinners, there isn’t a sermon that is preached that doesn’t hit home with me on some level. But as I listened to todays sermon I kept thinking about …it keeps no records of wrongs and the immense burden it takes for us to hold on to all those supposed wrongs against us. This sermon didn’t cut like a knife, it drove an arrow through my heart that didn’t stop as it exited my body.

I knew these versus but when they were tied to the emotional burden, they took on a whole new meaning (and Rev. Norris actually described this as being in bondage to the sin that has us hold on to things from the past and to not forgive others). You see, I hold on to lots of things that I really should just let go. This tends to happen in our most special relationships – particularly marriage and also family and extended family. In my mind, I have spent years holding on to supposed wrongs against me. In my mind I “go to court” – I build up my defense and imagine using what I am holding on to against the would be offender (which too often is my wife). The energy it takes to hold on to these things is immense for me – truly draining emotionally.

The solution? Forgiveness. Great – I have spent decades building up my legal cases in my mind against those I love the most and I get offered a one word solution? Yup. And here is yet another paradox about the Christian life  – a simple solution will take a significant amount of effort, prayer, and time. But truly learning to forgive others will put us on that path to releasing that emotional burden.

But wait, while I am learning how to forgive, what do I do with my feelings? We get angry when we feel hurt – whether what (or who) hurt us was malicous or just a result of us having a lack of sleep and reacting over emotional. Go back to 1 Corinthians 13:6: love rejoices with the truth. Hmm. What is our takeaway here? As hard as it is, I feel God is telling us, do not react with evil, instead, speak the truth. OK – feeling very vulnerable here (do not want to feel rejected…) You want me to tell the person that I love that I feel very hurt after something they did? And say it in a loving way? Yup. That is going to take some time!

But that is how it is with God: the lesson is repeated until it is learned. So, I now have my assignment – learn to forgive and learn to speak the truth in love and be willing to take the risk and make yourself vulnerable. Yes, I would say that the Creator of our universe knows something about what He is telling us to do! This will not be easy, but we have a plan and a loving God. It will take time.

A great sermon today! May God truly bless you and may we learn to forgive as our loving God forgives us – Amen!